Authorities in a Tacoma, Washington suburb had a rather bizarre encounter last weekend when they subdued an armed man preparing to go to war with ‘lizard people.’
Possessing an AK-47 and a handgun, the unnamed individual conjured concerned calls to police when he stopped his car in the town of Parkland and witnesses spotted his weaponry.
Fortunately, the cops who converged on the scene were able to ensure that cooler heads prevailed and that no one got hurt when they took the man into custody.
And when they inquired about his firearms, the distraught man told them a truly fantastic tale.
According to the man, he had recently received a phone call from President Trump, who regretfully informed him that his family had been kidnapped by ‘lizard people,’ specifically their ‘alpha dragon’ leader.
No doubt dismayed by this news, the man revealed to police that the president personally asked him to battle the lizard people in order to save his family and, ostensibly, the world as well.
As one can imagine, police were skeptical about his story, especially since the man also informed them about his unorthodox ‘diet’ which consists of simply snorting methamphetamine to lose weight.
Perhaps anticipating their dubious take on his reptilian tale, the man declared “the meth doesn’t make me crazy, man. The lizard people are real!”
In light of his admitted drug use, the cops transferred the man to a medical facility and it is uncertain as to whether or not he will face any charges for the odd incident.
While he was unable to find nor fight the reptilians believed to be behind his family’s kidnapping, it appears that the man did accomplish one facet of his mission.
When asked why he had gotten out of his car, he explained that he intended to cause a commotion so that the media would cover his story and share his reptilian news with the world, which we here at Coast to Coast have dutifully done.
Whether raising awareness of the reptilians proves to prevent them from kidnapping any other unfortunate humans remains to be seen, but at least now word is getting out about their treachery.